Funny email: Men are like...

Another funny email! Please enjoy!

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....

1. Men are like Laxatives . They irritate the crap out of you.

2 Men are like Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like Blenders You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like Commercials . You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8 Men are like .. Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like .. Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12! . Men are like Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped

http://www.examiner.com/x-5465-Erotica-and-Romance-Books-Examiner Enjoy erotic/romance book reviews? Receive email alerts when new reviews are available. Just click on the "subscribe" button on the link above.

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1930's Ad's - These are not for weak! Funny Email

Hello all! I was going to wait until April to start writing, but this email I received, defies logic and is funny as hell. Some of these ads are a riot, and some are just plain scary. Please take a gander at what people were doing in the 30's and the advice they recived. Ludicrous!
UNBELIVABLE!

ADS FROM THE 1930'S THESE ARE A RIOT.... can you believe that these were real ads? Yes, they were!

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Funny Email: Yo Seniors!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you?"

"Yes", she says, "I remember it well."

"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, thinks to himself, 'I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.' So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, 'This is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.'

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!"

Haha! Enjoy!

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How to Tell if You Need to Pray At Work! Funny Email!

This is sad but oh so true! So enjoy your day and remember, you may be a candidate that needs to pray at work!

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Relationships - Funny Email

I tell you I am single and maybe I should be according to this funny email I received! Please enjoy!

Wife: 'What are you doing?

'Husband: Nothing.

Wife: 'Nothing..? You've been reading our marriagecertificatefor an hour.

'Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'-------------------------------

Wife : 'Do you want dinner?

'Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?

'Wife: 'Yes or no.'_____________

Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'--------------------------------------------------------

Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share allyour worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have anyworries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'------------------------------

Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he toldme to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap..'________________________________

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?''

Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'----------------------------------------------------------

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'-------------------------------

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

Husbands are husbands:

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the headwith a frying pan..'

What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'

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Husband Store! Funny Email!

Here is another funny email! Now this is all about us women and darn if it ain’t true! Men will read this and rejoice. Enjoy!

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors & the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex & have money & like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

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Funny Motivational Poster

I got this in an email an I literally had tears running in my eyes! Please enjoy! And watch your back!

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British Papers are More Fun to Read – Hilarious email!

Love the British. From an American perspective or should I say stereotype, the British seem proper and very stiff. Well these articles punch holes in that theory! Enjoy!

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GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN - Funny Email!

I love funny emails. Especially the ones that are so funny I must share in my blog with the world! This is a great lesson, but please note that it is intended as fun and in no way meant to be anything other than that. If you’re easily offended, then you are seriously in the wrong place and there is no excuse for you! But if this is where you wanna be, then please enjoy!


Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe.
Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a
warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet... Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.....
An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.



THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran, ruled by nuts.

THE END.

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AN ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION: Funny email

Here is a funny email sent to me and it took me a minute to get it, and when I did I really laughed out loud! Because remember boys are dirty!! Please enjoy!

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks,
'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father.
I don't want to ruin her reputation'.

'Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?''

'I cannot say.'

''Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell.'

''Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that..
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew,
and his friend Franco slides over
and whispers,
'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.'

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