Car Rage

I’m telling you, people in cars are evil. lol I’m in the 7-eleven parking lot near my home where I was attempting to get out of a parking space when this she-witch rolls in almost hitting my car (not really but it sounds so dramatic. Actually she and I moved at the same time). I stopped, she stopped. I finally pulled out, and this she-witch proceeds to give me the eye like it was my fault I chose that time to leave. Well I gave her the eye back and was ready to get out of the car and give her another eyeful.

That is when I realized that people, me included, think that we are straight bad-asses when we are driving. I see it all the time as well as experience it myself. Driving a car makes people reckless and sometimes fearless. I’ve had many instances where I’ve gone from 0-60 in the rage dept while driving and then afterwards I always think the same thing, what if that idiot I was mad at or cursing out had a gun?

I actually saw an incident on the freeway where two people were going at it in their cars like two knights in metal horses during a jousting competition. Well the cars stopped on the side of the road. The first car had one guy in it ready to get all bad, when the second car door opened up and out spilled four young guys and one guy had a bat. The guy in the first car saw that and took the hell off. This is why people in cars must be careful because no one knows just how crazy the other person is.

I will say this. I will try, but the next time someone cuts in front of me, I will probably get heated. What I should be doing is thinking of the other person and how I’d like to write what I’d like to do to them. That might help with my road rage. And make me a safer driver. And a better writer. Just saying.

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Twittdiction: No longer a myth

My name is Dr. Bolina Twittdina, and I am a Twitteroligist at the Institute of Twittology. For the last couple of months (weeks actually) I have done extensive research on this disease and have come to the conclusion that Twittdiction is very real.

Here are the ten symptoms of Twittdiction:

When you speak with people off of Twitter, you begin to speak with “tw” sounds, i.e. twype, twalk, etc.

When you wake up in the morning, the first thing you do is log onto your twitter account to see how many followers you gained/loss overnight.

You “tweet” things that you would not normally “talk” about.

You constantly sit at your desk reading your twitter page on your computer or device, reading the daily second by second details of the people you follow.

You @reply “celebrities” in the hope they will “tweet” you back.

When you’re in a business meeting and all you can think about is what to “tweet” next.

When you get to work, you check your twitter page before you check work related emails.

You begin to see “twitter” everywhere.

You can’t hear or see the word “tweet” without smiling.

You send “tweets” at inappropriate times, i.e. when you’re in church, during weddings, at a bar with your “real” friends, or while you’re in a hospital visiting sick people.

If you display one or more of these symptoms you have Twittdiction. Currently there is no cure.

You may want to contact your local Twittologist if you are logged on to twitter for more than 4 hours straight, as this could cause headaches, blurry vision, or random tweets.

Thanks and forward this report on. Together we can find a cure.

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