Memory Triggers

I saw a red Delorean this morning on the freeway on my way to work. On the back of the car was this contraption that had me wondering what the “heck is that”?

As I got closer to the vehicle I saw that it was that blender contraption just like in the movie Back to the Future! Then I started thinking about the movie that came out in 1985 and how at 14 years old, I saw that movie countless times, because like every body was in love with Michael J. Fox.

Then as I was going down memory lane, I realized that there were no red Deloreans (at least not factory color). Then upon further inspection of said memory, the car itself became funny to me. Why? Because in 1985, that was our version of a futuristic car and yet it is in no way a reflection of what is out there today.

The purpose of this post, is that everyday there is something out there that will trigger a memory from the past, and this straight took me down a path of fun time memories for me. Being 14 with no cares in the world, except what was happening at school. I was in the ninth grade and I had my first boyfriend, Michael Jackson was singing "Beat It" and everyone was doing the "Thriller" dance.

This was a time of awesome clothing (I am so lying right here!), and awesome phrases. Cheesy movies and even more awesome the video games that were supposed to be the it games! All in all this was a fun little memory for me and if I ever forget it, I can always go online and watch How were the 80's on VH-1, cuz frankly, it seems people can't leave the decade alone!

Thanks for stopping by!

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Friends...How many of Us Have Them?

I can say the I honestly only have two best friends. While I am a people person and love to yack it up, I find that people just don't get me. My two best buds do and that is why I call them friends.

I have quite a few aquaintences both online and in the real world, like I said I am a people person. These are people I talk to, who I might even hang out with, but for the most part I don't trust people easily to come into my inner circle. I speak from personal experience.

In high school I had many friends and one girl in particular was a best friend. I knew her since kindergarten, though she moved away. I saw her again in junior high school and we basically picked up the friendship as if there was no time lost.

Well after high school, we still hung out, but I became pregnant at 19, and after I had my oldest I got my own apartment. Because her mom still treated her like she twelve, I offered her to let her move in with me, to pay half of everything.

Well she stayed with me a month. At first it was all good, until she started inviting her boyfriend and his friends to always be at the apt. They ate up everything and was using my phone like it was theirs. Then she got stupid and started buying her own food and such. She refused to pay the phone bill and by the end of the month, we hated each other.

Suffice it to say I never made that mistake again. Hell I won't even move in with my sister because one of us would be dead.

In hindsight though, me and the ex-best friend should have had a plan. I have not seen nor spoken to her since then and I don't regret it.

And this is why I only have two best friends. And that is how it will probably stay, unless I can find another person out there who can get my ways.

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Cat Sentinel

I've always wondered why cats just sit and stare, especially from windows. I was walking to my car this morning and I saw this cat just staring at me. I wonder why they do that? Frankly they give me the creeps. All stalking their prey, like mini jungle cats.

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Disturbing Behaviour...Could this really happen?

I am watching the movie from 1998 about a small town in Maine, where the adults are experimenting on the teenage population. These kids turn into some creepy stepford wives and the funny thing is all of the normal teenage angst that was suppressed has this weird side-effect that makes the kids become raging psychotics. This usually happens when they feel sexual attraction.

Now in the real world would this be possible? And why would it be ok for a parent to do that their child? I mean hell we were all teenagers once with all the feelings that comes with it, so why suppress it?

I know this is a movie, but I so believe that parents would do that, for the greater good. So yeah I freak out over movies that could be real.

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Car Rage

I’m telling you, people in cars are evil. lol I’m in the 7-eleven parking lot near my home where I was attempting to get out of a parking space when this she-witch rolls in almost hitting my car (not really but it sounds so dramatic. Actually she and I moved at the same time). I stopped, she stopped. I finally pulled out, and this she-witch proceeds to give me the eye like it was my fault I chose that time to leave. Well I gave her the eye back and was ready to get out of the car and give her another eyeful.

That is when I realized that people, me included, think that we are straight bad-asses when we are driving. I see it all the time as well as experience it myself. Driving a car makes people reckless and sometimes fearless. I’ve had many instances where I’ve gone from 0-60 in the rage dept while driving and then afterwards I always think the same thing, what if that idiot I was mad at or cursing out had a gun?

I actually saw an incident on the freeway where two people were going at it in their cars like two knights in metal horses during a jousting competition. Well the cars stopped on the side of the road. The first car had one guy in it ready to get all bad, when the second car door opened up and out spilled four young guys and one guy had a bat. The guy in the first car saw that and took the hell off. This is why people in cars must be careful because no one knows just how crazy the other person is.

I will say this. I will try, but the next time someone cuts in front of me, I will probably get heated. What I should be doing is thinking of the other person and how I’d like to write what I’d like to do to them. That might help with my road rage. And make me a safer driver. And a better writer. Just saying.

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My son, the adult

My life, is at a turning point. My son graduates high school tomorrow (06/04/09). He will officialy be an adult, and I feel like I am dying inside. Maybe it is mommy blues who knows. I am having memories from the day he was born, to his first steps, to his first video game console. I am getting a bit weepy but that is my prerogative. This is just a short blurb on how I am feeling.

Here are some pictures of my boy from him at 1 week old to pretty much now. Enjoy.

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Anger Management 101

Thursday last week 02/05/09 , I had a terrible day. It got so bad in fact that I had to take several breaks, and on one occasion had tears of frustration in my eyes. So I did something that I haven’t done in awhile; write poetry as a way to bleed out all the anger I felt.

So I read the poem again this morning and hello, it is kinda creepy. Now I don’t know if it is because it is my own work and I am biased or if it really is a creepy little piece of literature.

My oldest son always tells me that I am gothy and emo in my feelings. I find that funny as I don’t dress or exactly “live” the lifestyle or culture.

But I guess if I have dark periods, love vamps, moody, and listen to so called “emo” music I guess that I am.

But let it be known, I personally don’t call myself these things, only that my son describes me as such. I’d love to see myself in some of the clothing favored by both cultures, but only at Halloween.

But I digress. Here is the poem:

Inflicted
I hear the Harpies sing
an off-key melody,
grating and grinding.
My ears bleed out
thoughts no longer mine.

They cackle in joy,
their triumph over my defeat.

I smell their defilement,
their filth, as they crowd closer,
their warm, fetid breath,
a humid experience.

I can’t move, locked in
utter horror as my eyes
try to lose focus on the
vision around me.

It is not finished, but I like what I got. Is it a masterpiece? Not really. But it was how I felt at the time and now I captured the feeling of a bad day for me, so to speak in a series of words. Comments are always welcome as well as any feedback/critique. But keep in mind if your that person who loves to bash on others just for the fun of it, then your not welcome. Thanks.

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