Why Being Nice Sucks! Part 1

I've been doing customer service since I was sixteen. From fast food to telemarketing to customer support rep. And I can tell you it sucks! People are mean, rude and expect miracles in 15 seconds flat. So I made some rules and etiquette when calling in or speaking to anyone who must service your needs, in a retail way of course!

The Must have rules when calling in to customer service. This will avoid headaches, confusion, and all-around bitchiness when talking to the person on the other end of the line.

1. Please have all your ish(the nice word for poop) before you get started. As a customer service rep, that is a really irritating thing to have to sit and have you rummage around for things. Just be ready as this avoids frustration on both parts!

2. Please do not call pissed off. You’re mad, you have every right to be, but you do know that 99% of the time, the person answering the phone doesn’t know what your issue is, and chances are real good, they could have probably helped, but if your blowing your stack the second they answer you have not only alienated the rep, you’ve also pissed them off as well. Advice? Try not to call angry, and remember the person your mad at is not the rep, but the big guy. Yell at him/her!

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve been the customer and have had rude customer service reps, which have made me go from 0-60 on the piss-o-meter. But honestly as both a customer and a customer service rep, I can say that it sure does suck to be the rep!

Part 2 tomorrow!

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School Books are Ridiclously High!

Took my son the College student to get his books. My lord they are expensive! I did college 4 years ago and even then it was crazy, but living in California, it is even worse. He only purchased 5 books for $406! That is more than tuition for a semester.

Thank god my aunt provided a scholarship for him, but he still needs two more books and the amount for this semester is only $500 of the money.

So I told him that we are taking a book back. I quite forgot about half.com where you can find used books for cheap.

We found a math book for $1.75. No lie. The catch? It is the wrong edition. It is the ninth whereas the bookstore has the lastest edition. That is the racket you see, with these publishers. They keep putting out new editions when half the time the only thing that changes is the friggen pictures.

Math has been the same since the pythagorean theorem! Ok a bit of an exaggeration but these publishers will charge over $100 for a book that really has the same math in it. So he taking the $114 dollar book back which is seriously used and wait for a book that we purchased for $1.75.

Thanks for stopping by!

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Wally World and the Freak Show

Yesterday I went into Wal-Mart to get two items: a money order and a fan.
The money order to pay a bill and the fan because it was hitting 104 degrees! Yep felt like an oven. Not cool.

Anyways I’m in line to get the money order looking around, when my eyes were stopped by the most ludicrous sight ever! Apparently Randy Jackson has glass frames he endorses. My jaw literally dropped. Who’s next? Simon endorsing tight shirts?

That was just too much. Turning around still in line, I see another, much more horrible sight. This was a woman, who was big (trying to be nice here!) who had on a halter top dress, two pig tails, and the thickest glasses I’ve seen outside of cartoons! Upon further inspection it was a peasant skirt that she was using as a dress and when she walked forward I threw up a little in my mouth. She had no underwear on! A horrible tragedy I tell ya!

I still have that dang image burned into my retinas. Why do people do that? Yes it was baking hot yesterday here in Southern Cali, but come on! Underwear is a friggen requirement! I so did not need to see that!

Well after that, I got my money order and fans and high-tailed it out of the Freak show. Who knows what else would have caught my eye? I shudder at the thought.

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Having the sex talk with your kids

This is one of those topics that some parents seem to dread. Not me. Why? Well because when I was in elementary school, I was totally clueless, until the 6th grade where the teacher took on the role of parent for one week and taught us all the basics of our bodies and what the male and female body parts were.

That’s nice and all but I wish my parents had the guts to tell me themselves. It was an awkward time for me and as kids do, we all laughed at the words. The whole thing was funny. Especially as the films had to be at least ten years old.

Fast forward to the future. I had the talk with my kids. I refused for them to have wrong information, or learn it from other kids. So I asked my boys point blank one day where do babies come from. Now I asked this question while I was driving us home from work and school. And I thought it was a good place, you know all together in one place. FYI don’t ever talk your kids about sex ed in the car. Why?

Well the answers they gave me made me laugh so hard I almost ran us off the road. So not a good place to have the talk. Here is what they told me. They said that babies come from a girls butt. After I controlled my laughter to a titter, I had to ask where they got that idea. Well since girls sit down to pee, the only logical conclusion was her butt as they thought that is where a girl peed from. More laughter and tears were streaming at this point.

So I explained that a girl has two holes down there, one to pee the other to poop. And then I explained the process of how a baby comes out of the hole, and the look on their faces told it all. Girls were icky to the 10th power.

Of course we have had more conversations on the sex talk and as they grew older, I incorporated words as to what the body parts are called and all that good stuff. The only talk I was leery of having: why they took such long showers? Did have it, but it was hard to explain that part and quite awkard all around, lol but I’d still rather tell them about that then talk to girl about her period. I don’t envy any parent that task.

The purpose of this is that it is best to have the talk with your kids before other influences come in to play. It is better that they have the right knowledge than some of the idiotic things kids come up with. Thanks for stopping by and don’t be afraid!

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JENNY CRAIG FOR MEN...Funny Email!

Sometimes you see funny stuff in your email and you may titter in the 5 seconds it takes you to read and then go about your day. But then there are the ones that are just too funny to ignore and you have to share it with the world! And this one is frilarious! (Friggen Hilarious). So please enjoy a little humor, ya’ll!


A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous,
athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike
running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me..'

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.. A few miles later
huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10
lbs. as promised.


He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most
sunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing
nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you
catch me you can have me'.

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and
he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine
happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.


Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that
he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls
the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program 'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program.'

'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, your ass is mine.'

He lost 63 pounds that week.

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Hot Piece of Sass: That's Bobbi, With An 'I'

Hot Piece of Sass: That's Bobbi, With An 'I'

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When Appliances Attack..Sort of

I love scouring the internet for interesting stories and this one is no exception. So here is the story. Bottom line this guy’s oven automatically came on. Ok so the first thing that comes to mind is not ghosts but that the appliances are now taking over!

But the story is crazier than that! His dang cell phone was the culprit. I don’t know what is funnier; my crazy idea of a world taken over by appliances or that cell phones can turn stuff on.

This is such a WTFH story if I ever saw one! Thanks for stopping by.

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THE JOYS OF MY SPLINTERED LIFE IN SMALLTOWN: A Story for Every Picture: You Closed The Door

THE JOYS OF MY SPLINTERED LIFE IN SMALLTOWN: A Story for Every Picture: You Closed The Door

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Memory Triggers

I saw a red Delorean this morning on the freeway on my way to work. On the back of the car was this contraption that had me wondering what the “heck is that”?

As I got closer to the vehicle I saw that it was that blender contraption just like in the movie Back to the Future! Then I started thinking about the movie that came out in 1985 and how at 14 years old, I saw that movie countless times, because like every body was in love with Michael J. Fox.

Then as I was going down memory lane, I realized that there were no red Deloreans (at least not factory color). Then upon further inspection of said memory, the car itself became funny to me. Why? Because in 1985, that was our version of a futuristic car and yet it is in no way a reflection of what is out there today.

The purpose of this post, is that everyday there is something out there that will trigger a memory from the past, and this straight took me down a path of fun time memories for me. Being 14 with no cares in the world, except what was happening at school. I was in the ninth grade and I had my first boyfriend, Michael Jackson was singing "Beat It" and everyone was doing the "Thriller" dance.

This was a time of awesome clothing (I am so lying right here!), and awesome phrases. Cheesy movies and even more awesome the video games that were supposed to be the it games! All in all this was a fun little memory for me and if I ever forget it, I can always go online and watch How were the 80's on VH-1, cuz frankly, it seems people can't leave the decade alone!

Thanks for stopping by!

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Take this blog...and love it!

I've been trying to figure this blogging thing out and I think I have it. I've been blogging since March this year, and it has taken me this past week, to understand how to get traffic to my site. I can tell you this, it takes a lot of friggen work!

But I can say that efforts are beginning to pay off. Glad people are stopping by to see what I'm all about.

The name of the blog Zesty Nachos is all about my life's little moments, and it was my son' s idea. I was trying to figure out a creative name for my site that also was about me. So Zesty as in a zest for life and Nachos, cuz everybody loves Nachos (at least I think that is true!)

So far the attention I am getting is uber awesome and I hope to reciprocate on other blogs as well. Showing love is an equal opportunity, that I am just beginning to understand! Happy Blogging ya'll!

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Passion Party...Adult Toys, beverages, oh my!

Went to a Passion Party last night. Basically it is a party that has a host, a consultant, and several drunk women enjoying themselves!

This one was fun. Except for the two consultants! I just could not take them seriously especially as they were bookish, nerdy looking women trying to tell the group of drunk ladies how to find their g-spot!

It was all clinical, like I was in junior high school sex ed class! Hell it is called a Passion Party, yet these consultants looked like they didn't know the meaning of the word passion.

I guess this is one of those jobs where you need to look like your having fun and actually make people believe you are an expert on dildos and vibrators. I might try to do this one day. I mean you can never have enough adult toys, right?

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Cooking...Basic Skill Set #1

Why is it that young females these days don’t seem to have the basic cooking skills for when they leave the nest?

It is a conundrum to say the least. I use for example one radio dj of a popular morning radio show in San Diego. She has learned to cook somewhat now, but when she first came to the station, she basically didn’t have cooking skills, except to microwave stuff... WTFH?

Now this is something I didn’t understand. Maybe it was cultural? But it couldn’t be as her ethnicity should have guaranteed cooking skills. I was in shock over this. As she was in her 20’s I thought it was an awful tragedy. How can a female not know how to cook?

Now this is not about being that kind of woman who wants to set women’s rights back to the dark ages, but shouldn’t a woman learn this as a basic skill set?

Because of this, and I know there are probably more females like that out in the world, I’ve taken it upon myself to make sure my boys know how to cook. My oldest is quite skilled and I advised he should go to cooking school as he just a natural affinity for food, but that is not happening.

My youngest is learning though he is mostly a microwave cook at this moment.

But as I’m writing this, I’ve realized this should be a basic skill set for anybody after leaving the nest. And parents should be teaching this right along with teaching their kids right from wrong as well as to be a productive citizen.

Ramen noodles be damned! When my son is away in college he will be the guy who can cook up a complete meal and then some. And that is one skill I am glad to have taught him, especially as his efforts are damn good!

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Friends...How many of Us Have Them?

I can say the I honestly only have two best friends. While I am a people person and love to yack it up, I find that people just don't get me. My two best buds do and that is why I call them friends.

I have quite a few aquaintences both online and in the real world, like I said I am a people person. These are people I talk to, who I might even hang out with, but for the most part I don't trust people easily to come into my inner circle. I speak from personal experience.

In high school I had many friends and one girl in particular was a best friend. I knew her since kindergarten, though she moved away. I saw her again in junior high school and we basically picked up the friendship as if there was no time lost.

Well after high school, we still hung out, but I became pregnant at 19, and after I had my oldest I got my own apartment. Because her mom still treated her like she twelve, I offered her to let her move in with me, to pay half of everything.

Well she stayed with me a month. At first it was all good, until she started inviting her boyfriend and his friends to always be at the apt. They ate up everything and was using my phone like it was theirs. Then she got stupid and started buying her own food and such. She refused to pay the phone bill and by the end of the month, we hated each other.

Suffice it to say I never made that mistake again. Hell I won't even move in with my sister because one of us would be dead.

In hindsight though, me and the ex-best friend should have had a plan. I have not seen nor spoken to her since then and I don't regret it.

And this is why I only have two best friends. And that is how it will probably stay, unless I can find another person out there who can get my ways.

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Cat Sentinel

I've always wondered why cats just sit and stare, especially from windows. I was walking to my car this morning and I saw this cat just staring at me. I wonder why they do that? Frankly they give me the creeps. All stalking their prey, like mini jungle cats.

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Twelve babies... Is that seriously possible??

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,540023,00.html?test=latestnews

This is one of those strange stories that make you say WTFH? Holding one baby for nine months is hard, but twelve? I read the story, which is pretty crazy by the way, but for damn near the whole pregnancy, which is dangerous, this chick has to seriously be on bed rest. I mean the uterus can stretch, but a football field? I shudder at the idea of having another child so this is like a serious punishment for me!

But I get why these people took fertility drugs because they were having trouble getting pregnant, but come on! She is like some kind of side-show freak!

Ok side note: Love my bambinos, but I absolutely hated being pregnant and I did it three times. This is why the idea of having to resort to extra help makes me shudder at the possible outcome, though I've always said it be great if I could switch with someone. Why? Cuz I am fertile myrtle!

So sorry for my commentary but I am scared for that lady. In all honesty I hope each and every child is born healthy and strong and this woman comes thru alright. And for the right amount of money she could have had my reproductive organs. Just saying.

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Money is at the root of my problem...And it is all my fault!

You ever feel like a mouse in a cage and with no way out? Or you’re on a hamster wheel to no where? Yeah well these are my thoughts today. I am in a rut and I can’t seem to find my way out of the muck of my life. I feel as if I am drowning in responsibility with no air in sight.

I have no head for money saving so I am one of those people who live pay check to paycheck. I really hate it, but I am trying to tunnel my way out from under all of the bills. And for the record, I don’t have as many as some, but the few I have are high.

I am trying to get myself out of the mess I made, by changing my tactics. I could sit here a wail and cry about the economy, but why should I? I have a job, a roof over my head, and a car. This mess I made myself, because I have a little problem with spending money.

I seriously enjoy spending money as if I were rich. There is a name for this. I know because I have some of the symptoms which one of them is euphoria among others.

But I am going to try and put my foot down and stamp out this part of me. I am finally admitting I have a problem with money. Unless it is a necessity and not a want, it is not going into my home. I will admit stopping my shopping sprees cold turkey is hard!

But this is the first time in a long time where I am able to play catch-up with my bills and may actually start saving. At least I hope.

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