Some embarrasing moments at work

I love blogging. It allows a person to truly express themselves like a personal diary except anyone could read it. Today I was talking to my friend about things in general when I told her about two embarrassing moments that happened to me while at work. I just started laughing all over again just thinking about my situations and I tell you they are hilarious.

First I will start off as these happened. It was the late 90’s and I was a glorified telemarketer and I would sometimes where wigs. Well the room I was in held about eight people plus the CEO in his office to keep an eye on us. We would sometimes talk in between making calls and someone said something that was extremely funny and as I tend to do I laugh with my whole body and I tilted my head back forgetting I had on a wig, which was not secured by the way. Before you knew it the wig flew off and the real laughter began.

For almost two minutes after it jumped off my head, all I could do was leave it on the ground as we were just laffing too hard. They would look at my head, which was covered in a stocking cap, to the braided monstrosity on the floor and start all over again. I think that whole room, CEO included, were on a laugh fest for fifteen minutes straight.

The next incident only involved me and one other co-worker. Was also a different job. This was probably around 2005-2006. Now this incident will forever be etched in my memory. I was at my cubicle and the girl next to me was in hers working. I had to plug my radio in to the socket, so I got on my knees first, then bent over. Then that is when it happened. A blast, and not from the past. I immediately shot up and looked behind me. The girl had this look on her face that was more like “did I or didn’t I?” Seeing the look I said “excuse me” and that was the magic phrase. We both fell out and laughed for thirty minutes straight no lie. The more we thought about it the harder we laughed and I mean hard, you know where you are coughing?

So these are two moments in my life where embarrassing things happened to me. I am still laughing to myself at the moments. Ah memories.

Do you have any embarrassing moments in your life that still make you laugh today? I so want to know!

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Neva Eva Touch a Black Woman's Hair!

This is PSA (public service announcement) of sorts. Today I almost witness the fury of a black woman who would have been within her rights to go ballistic.

The Situation.

A young black woman, just had her hair did (translation, had a new weave put in) and it was looking fierce.

The Ignorant One.

A woman who is not black, tried to pay a compliment, but in doing so, she seriously, attempted to pet the young woman's hair.

The Outcome.

The young woman swooped away in the nick of time and said thank you.

Here is the worst case scenario.

Let's say the Ignorant One actually touched said hair? Well I can imagine that it would not have been pretty. The girl with the weave would have turned into a hair-ninja and hair-slap the idiot. Now that would have been something to see.

So a word to the wise. See a black woman with fabulous hair? First instinct is to pet the hair? You might want to think before you act.

This PSA has been brought to by "Oh no she didn't!" and "B**** Please!"

Satire is funny. Picture courtesy of loveisntenough.com

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I need a Man

Well that is what my kids tell me. And apparently they aren't the only ones. On facebook I am being bombarded with ads of single men from interracial dating sites, black males, mature males and millionaires.

All I can say is wth? Why do I need my boys and facebook to tell me I'm single? Hek I know I am and I am fine with that. If I meet a lovely gentleman who I find interesting, then hallelujah I'd be happy!

I mean I am funny, quirky, can talk about almost anything, I mean why wouldn't a man want all of this? Apparently they don't hence my single status. I'm not picky. All I want is a man who is taller than me, muscular, flipping hot, and can talk to me about anything. Oh wait, that is a fantasy man from my many romance novels I read. Hmm I see a pattern.

Maybe I am picky. Though I don't think I am asking for much. I could go on with my list but I don't really put my dirty side here. That is what my erotic blog is for. No shame in the plug, thank you very much. Hek even the three hotties in the pic would need to be tried out on a trial basis.

Well nothing for it. My boys will have to deal. I am happy. I've already been married. Been there done that. Now I am not getting any younger, but at the same time, I am special and any man would be happy to hang with me. Thanks for reading.

p.s. Anyone know where I can find those hunky firemen? Seriously. =D

p.s.s Don't forget to enter the giveaways I'm doing here and here

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Scary Movies are not for me!

I thought this post would be appropriate for the month.

So my friend and her daughter saw this new freaky movie, “Paranormal Activity”, which is supposedly true and filmed here in San Diego.

Now I personally do not like scary movies, though I’ve seen a few to know it is not my thing, but when there is a movie supposedly based on fact and filmed in my city, well there is no way on God’s green Earth I will ever see that movie!

You see my imagination goes into overdrive to the point I can’t sleep and I start to experience my own paranormal stuff. So no thank you “Paranormal Activity!”

When I saw “Blair Witch Project” I was scared. I watched it with my sister and it was probably after midnight. All of a sudden, after the movie ended, I look at my sister who has tears welling up in her eyes and all she is doing is pointing with her mouth hanging open.

I will tell you now; I was ready to leave her and my kids to whatever supernatural thing was happening no lie! Wrong I know!

When I finally turned around, my dang phone cord had twisted itself into the shape of those stick figures that were hanging up in the trees in the movie. If you seen it, you will know what I am talking about.

I was so effin (this is my way of cursing, thank you very much!) scared, and at that precise moment, as we stared in horror at the cord, someone knocked on my door. No lie!

We screamed bloody murder and jumped so high I am surprised we didn’t jump on the ceiling! I tried to make my sister answer the door (wrong I know haha), but I finally made myself walk to the door. It was the next door neighbor’s friend who knocked on the wrong door. I was so relieved that I turned into a gibbering idiot for 5 seconds. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn’t care. After that we watched Inspector Gadget, the movie, to get our minds off that crazy mess we experienced! (Can I tell you, that writing this I am getting scared all over again?)

So this is one of many reasons why I will not see scary movies in general. And this would be my definition of scary movies, such as torture and any type of Asian horror, which is a whole other type of scary to me. This will be The Ring and The Grudge. Enough said on that.

Now I will probably see Zombieland, because it just looks funny, though a bit gross, but knowing me, after seeing it, the dang Zombie apocalypse will happen and I am in no dang shape to be running from zombies so I’d probably end up being one.

So what scares the poop out of you? Or are you like my friend who will see these movies because she enjoys being scared?

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GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN - Funny Email!

I love funny emails. Especially the ones that are so funny I must share in my blog with the world! This is a great lesson, but please note that it is intended as fun and in no way meant to be anything other than that. If you’re easily offended, then you are seriously in the wrong place and there is no excuse for you! But if this is where you wanna be, then please enjoy!


Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe.
Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a
warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet... Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.....
An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.



THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran, ruled by nuts.

THE END.

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Even babies are into it!

Just when I thought I had seen it all, along comes another "Single Ladies" video! But this one takes the cake and is cute and saccharin sweet, that I had to post it. I think it will give me cool points for one when I blast someone in the future. So enjoy this little guy, enjoying his Beyonce!

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Pimpin oneself out: We all do it!

That’s right. Everyday you do something for a little something. Now you’re probably getting up in arms over this. Well I say calm down butter cup. I have some examples.

As a blogger, I am looking for traffic, money, comments, and links exchanges with people. What do I do for that? Well I take a “walk” down internet lane and look at all the interesting ways to get “paid” and all by putting myself out there. If you look at my blog sidebar, you can see all the places that I put myself on the net. Yes as you can see I’ve been a busy girl! Like I said, pimpin’ myself out to get “paid” ain’t easy!

Now as a book reviewer for examiner.com and Thomas Nelson I am looking to not only improve my writing skills, but to also receive books to read. So what do I do for that? Well I put a little blurb on my examiner page for all prospective authors/publishers to hit me up for a review. For the Thomas Nelson reviews I put the badge on my page and request books be shipped to me to read and review. My payoff for both? I get free books, and they get free advertisement. We both are doing well.

These are my pimp out moments. Pimpn’ makes the world go ‘round!

But here are some other ways that you may think are not, but really are pimpin moments. For those who work in an office setting, you know people who pimp themselves out on a daily basis. You might even calls these people suck-ups or brown-nosers. But they are pimps. They are looking to get paid. For example, when the boss is looking for volunteers, these people always jump on the bandwagon. They cozy up to the boss by stroking his/her ego. And that person’s pay day is a raise or even recognition. Yes they too are pimps.

And what about when the tables are turned? When you are out at dinner, and your server/waiter/waitress wows you to the point that you actually give them a much bigger tip cuz they just did it for you? Yep they are pimps. Or when you get such great customer service either over the phone or in person, don’t you “pay” that person with compliments? So as you see pimpin happens both ways and in almost every situation.

What are you doing to pimp yourself out? What’s your big payoff for said pimpin?

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Why I believe the animal kingdom is preparing to attack humans!

For years, we as humans have been preparing for a possible attack from outer space. But what if the attack against humanity isn’t from the stars but from here on Earth, from the other species?

That’s right I am talking about animals. For some time now, I believe that they have been holding secret meetings out in the woods, zoos and anywhere else they reside, to start a war against us humans.

With all the attacks on people from animals lately, most time it is not people who start the fights but animals. Who says their dumb or not capable of thinking higher thoughts is crazy!

Ok in all seriousness though my friend sent me an article about a bear attacking a man for no reason. I believe that the animal kingdom is fed up and are looking to take us out or at least cull us to a more reasonable number. With so many people in the world, maybe they are looking at their dwindling space and looking to humans as the culprit.

Whatever the reason, I say watch your back. You never know when the next animal attack may be.

fyi-here is the link to the story which prompted this post. Click here

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My friend and her words

Just had to post this. My friend is crazy and ya'll have got to read her blog as she tells it like it is.

Check out her blog and follow her. Pinky's Rant.

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Commercials and their wackiness

Annoying commercial jingles that stay with you, must mean they are doing their job. Every time I see Bumblebee tuna, that dude playing the guitar going through peoples homes singing pops in my head. I stay away from that brand of tuna. I refuse to have a man go through my house singing about tuna.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjHvmbYk-Dg Check the video here. Sound quality suck but this commercial creeps me out on so many levels, and the people in their houses are calm. In my house it be a different story, like me screaming and trying to find something to throw at the crazy man. Probably a brand of Starkist tuna. Just saying.

Or that one commercial for Stride chewing gum? Can you imagine chewing some gum, enjoying the flavors when some goat, wrestler, or German dance troupe hit you to try and make you spit the gum out? Yeah right! I stay away from that brand of gum.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojgi16des-U Here is the video of a man just minding his business walking across the street chewing his gum, when he is suckered punched in the man parts, then after the goat hits him again, these fools roll up in a van (btw creepy!) and steal that piece a gum, while that man is on the ground trying to get air into his lungs. I refuse!

I think about stuff like this all the time. I don't think I'm crazy, but these commercials are presented in away that actually makes me think twice about having it in my house. Just saying.

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Why Being Nice Sucks Part 2

More rules that you as a customer should follow. Remember it will make you're transaction easier and faster and make your customer service rep happy to not use your personal information for nefarious means due to you're lack of compassion.

Please do note curse or belittle rep. Seriously folks, you do know that this just really delays any help you might have had. All is does is frustrate you and make you look like an idiot. Seriously.

Please, when giving info like your address or email or whatever, speak slow and concise. This can not be stressed enough! Especially over the phone. Rattling off numbers fast will only make the rep ask you to repeat again and again until you’re frustrated and pissy, which could have been avoided if you had a little patience to begin with!

Please, when calling in, keep it as simple as possible. This means that when you call in, there is no need to tell your life story of the problem, making it bigger than it is. The rep can only take so much information before they start to tune you out and ask you target specific questions such as “what specifically did you need done today” or “why are you calling today” or put you on hold and hope to god that somewhere in your file there is an answer to what you may be asking. A 2 minute call can go into a 15 minute monologue because of misdirection and not knowing how to ask a simple question. Basically stop making statements and just ask the question.

With these simple lessons you will be a much happier person, and that is all the customer service rep wants. Thanks for stopping by!

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Why Being Nice Sucks! Part 1

I've been doing customer service since I was sixteen. From fast food to telemarketing to customer support rep. And I can tell you it sucks! People are mean, rude and expect miracles in 15 seconds flat. So I made some rules and etiquette when calling in or speaking to anyone who must service your needs, in a retail way of course!

The Must have rules when calling in to customer service. This will avoid headaches, confusion, and all-around bitchiness when talking to the person on the other end of the line.

1. Please have all your ish(the nice word for poop) before you get started. As a customer service rep, that is a really irritating thing to have to sit and have you rummage around for things. Just be ready as this avoids frustration on both parts!

2. Please do not call pissed off. You’re mad, you have every right to be, but you do know that 99% of the time, the person answering the phone doesn’t know what your issue is, and chances are real good, they could have probably helped, but if your blowing your stack the second they answer you have not only alienated the rep, you’ve also pissed them off as well. Advice? Try not to call angry, and remember the person your mad at is not the rep, but the big guy. Yell at him/her!

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve been the customer and have had rude customer service reps, which have made me go from 0-60 on the piss-o-meter. But honestly as both a customer and a customer service rep, I can say that it sure does suck to be the rep!

Part 2 tomorrow!

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Wally World and the Freak Show

Yesterday I went into Wal-Mart to get two items: a money order and a fan.
The money order to pay a bill and the fan because it was hitting 104 degrees! Yep felt like an oven. Not cool.

Anyways I’m in line to get the money order looking around, when my eyes were stopped by the most ludicrous sight ever! Apparently Randy Jackson has glass frames he endorses. My jaw literally dropped. Who’s next? Simon endorsing tight shirts?

That was just too much. Turning around still in line, I see another, much more horrible sight. This was a woman, who was big (trying to be nice here!) who had on a halter top dress, two pig tails, and the thickest glasses I’ve seen outside of cartoons! Upon further inspection it was a peasant skirt that she was using as a dress and when she walked forward I threw up a little in my mouth. She had no underwear on! A horrible tragedy I tell ya!

I still have that dang image burned into my retinas. Why do people do that? Yes it was baking hot yesterday here in Southern Cali, but come on! Underwear is a friggen requirement! I so did not need to see that!

Well after that, I got my money order and fans and high-tailed it out of the Freak show. Who knows what else would have caught my eye? I shudder at the thought.

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Having the sex talk with your kids

This is one of those topics that some parents seem to dread. Not me. Why? Well because when I was in elementary school, I was totally clueless, until the 6th grade where the teacher took on the role of parent for one week and taught us all the basics of our bodies and what the male and female body parts were.

That’s nice and all but I wish my parents had the guts to tell me themselves. It was an awkward time for me and as kids do, we all laughed at the words. The whole thing was funny. Especially as the films had to be at least ten years old.

Fast forward to the future. I had the talk with my kids. I refused for them to have wrong information, or learn it from other kids. So I asked my boys point blank one day where do babies come from. Now I asked this question while I was driving us home from work and school. And I thought it was a good place, you know all together in one place. FYI don’t ever talk your kids about sex ed in the car. Why?

Well the answers they gave me made me laugh so hard I almost ran us off the road. So not a good place to have the talk. Here is what they told me. They said that babies come from a girls butt. After I controlled my laughter to a titter, I had to ask where they got that idea. Well since girls sit down to pee, the only logical conclusion was her butt as they thought that is where a girl peed from. More laughter and tears were streaming at this point.

So I explained that a girl has two holes down there, one to pee the other to poop. And then I explained the process of how a baby comes out of the hole, and the look on their faces told it all. Girls were icky to the 10th power.

Of course we have had more conversations on the sex talk and as they grew older, I incorporated words as to what the body parts are called and all that good stuff. The only talk I was leery of having: why they took such long showers? Did have it, but it was hard to explain that part and quite awkard all around, lol but I’d still rather tell them about that then talk to girl about her period. I don’t envy any parent that task.

The purpose of this is that it is best to have the talk with your kids before other influences come in to play. It is better that they have the right knowledge than some of the idiotic things kids come up with. Thanks for stopping by and don’t be afraid!

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JENNY CRAIG FOR MEN...Funny Email!

Sometimes you see funny stuff in your email and you may titter in the 5 seconds it takes you to read and then go about your day. But then there are the ones that are just too funny to ignore and you have to share it with the world! And this one is frilarious! (Friggen Hilarious). So please enjoy a little humor, ya’ll!


A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous,
athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike
running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me..'

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.. A few miles later
huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10
lbs. as promised.


He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most
sunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing
nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you
catch me you can have me'.

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and
he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine
happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.


Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that
he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls
the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program 'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone. 'This is our most rigorous program.'

'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, your ass is mine.'

He lost 63 pounds that week.

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When Appliances Attack..Sort of

I love scouring the internet for interesting stories and this one is no exception. So here is the story. Bottom line this guy’s oven automatically came on. Ok so the first thing that comes to mind is not ghosts but that the appliances are now taking over!

But the story is crazier than that! His dang cell phone was the culprit. I don’t know what is funnier; my crazy idea of a world taken over by appliances or that cell phones can turn stuff on.

This is such a WTFH story if I ever saw one! Thanks for stopping by.

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Because Twitter's For Everyone Idiot!

After reading this fascinating article on celeb snobbery I’ve decided that I am going to try a social experiment.

I am going to actually start to @reply these “people” and see if I get a response. This is how I will either follow/unfollow, to see if they really are as engaging as their personas are, if they are “real” and if they are worthy of my adoration. I just want to see how willing they are to connect to the average person.

And since I am social (well according to this website I am) I should extend my humble hospitality right? See the pic of me last year? Yep I look good as a blonde. This is me being social.

So stay tuned for riveting stuff as I try to swim through all the ass-bloggery of these "celebs" and see if they are worthy of me!

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Twittdiction: No longer a myth

My name is Dr. Bolina Twittdina, and I am a Twitteroligist at the Institute of Twittology. For the last couple of months (weeks actually) I have done extensive research on this disease and have come to the conclusion that Twittdiction is very real.

Here are the ten symptoms of Twittdiction:

When you speak with people off of Twitter, you begin to speak with “tw” sounds, i.e. twype, twalk, etc.

When you wake up in the morning, the first thing you do is log onto your twitter account to see how many followers you gained/loss overnight.

You “tweet” things that you would not normally “talk” about.

You constantly sit at your desk reading your twitter page on your computer or device, reading the daily second by second details of the people you follow.

You @reply “celebrities” in the hope they will “tweet” you back.

When you’re in a business meeting and all you can think about is what to “tweet” next.

When you get to work, you check your twitter page before you check work related emails.

You begin to see “twitter” everywhere.

You can’t hear or see the word “tweet” without smiling.

You send “tweets” at inappropriate times, i.e. when you’re in church, during weddings, at a bar with your “real” friends, or while you’re in a hospital visiting sick people.

If you display one or more of these symptoms you have Twittdiction. Currently there is no cure.

You may want to contact your local Twittologist if you are logged on to twitter for more than 4 hours straight, as this could cause headaches, blurry vision, or random tweets.

Thanks and forward this report on. Together we can find a cure.

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Family Guy 101: Why is this show relevant?

Family Guy last Sunday (02/15/09) was probably the funniest one to date. I thought the one with Jesus and the whole “Bird is the Word” was the one. My 17 year old son had tears in his eyes and I was laughing so hard I just knew my neighbors were going to come and tell us to be quiet!

If you didn’t see it, here is a clip.



By far the funniest in my estimation. So funny seeing it again made me laugh harder!! The whole Bryan Adams song to the most insane looking video was just too much. I love Family Guy and yes Stewie is my favorite character on there.

And the thing is I don’t know why I love it so much. Maybe it is because Seth Macfarlane grew up loving the same things I did. Some of the things he features on the show makes me shake my head in wonder. I mean he comes up with the obvious (featuring the current upheaval in the world) but also the obscure. One example of the obscure was the Woodsey Owl character from the 70’s/80’s who did all these PSA’s for the forest. You know “Give a Hoot, Don’t Pollute?”

Not once have I ever thought about those PSA’s as an adult, yet seeing that owl again made me smile and then laugh until tears came out, because when you go on you tube and look at those old commercials they are hilarious! See the commercial here:



My poor son, sometimes the humor goes right over his head and he can’t get it unless he researches it online. But by then it is too late to get the humor. But when he watches it in re-runs then he can appreciate the humor. I honestly think that Family Guy, with all its no holds barred situations, is a good look into the human psyche. Seriously.

Good example. The one episode where Peter was the only one in his community who built a shelter to save his family from the New Millennium? Well remember people’s obsession and fear of the unknown? Were the computers going to stop? How were we going to cope? In Family Guy of course Peter was right and everything that could go wrong did, from planes falling out of the air, machines not working, to people living in a post apocalyptic world. Of course the plot turned, as the plots always do in Family Guy, and Peter’s quest? To find the Twinkie plant as in his mind that would be the only thing to survive in the New Millennium.

Bottom line, the show is BLOODY BRILLIANT! If you like crass humor (which this show has in spades!!), and to see people and/or situations made fun of, then this is the show for you. Honestly I do not know why people don’t like it. Maybe they just don’t get it. Or maybe they are the ones the show targets to be made fun of. Either way people should give it a chance. Who knows, you may like it!

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